It serves me right…

Tonight I installed Windows 10 on my desktop computer. I have run Linux exclusively for almost 20 years. I managed to get it running beautiful, and was able to test the custom Firestorm viewer software that I had compiled. That came out gorgeous as well.

But.. in the process, the entire boot partition for my Linux OS got wiped out. Oops 🙂

So I am posting this tale of woe, from a Live Linux usb stick, while I rescue all my files. Luckily all my files are still there, and I can listen to my music collection. 🙂

Kun’tewiktuk: A Mi’kmaw Adventure

Several months ago, I had just randomly come across this project. It was like the first breadcrumb in a trail that has really completely changed my life. It is a wonderful video game, intended to teach Mi’kmaq language, stories and culture to youngsters. Even 56 year old youngsters like me. 🙂

Proceeds from the game sales go to scholarship funds for First Nations youth, wishing to pursue careers in technology fields. Even though I am really not into video games, it has inspired me so much to explore my own ancestry and to develop a similar idea in our virtual world, GroovyVerse. I became an early funder of the game, and also a donor to Indspire which is a scholarship program for First Nations youth.

I hope you will give it a look, and possibly support this effort. Even if you are not Mi’kmaq or a person of indigenous descent, I think you will find some of the stories very familiar. It is no coincidence that they bear similarities to Lord of the Rings. Many of the northern peoples in the Americas, Europe, Siberia have very similar legends. In particular, the Sami in Finland were a great inspiration to Tolkien. In this Mi’kmaq story, one can not help but see the familiar hobbits, trolls and other characters and narratives, that I think we all shared at one time.

If anything. I hope this may make you realize that as difficult as things may seem now. There are people who went through A LOT. And persisted, and thrived and are still here creating beautiful things. We all can too.

https://www.mikmawadventure.com

Are we a New People?

From the time I was a small child, I had been fascinated with native culture and beliefs. I would devour every book I could get my hands on. I suspect that if future archaeologists explore the woods around my childhood home, they might be puzzled and think an unknown tribe of Hobbits had a civilization there. I littered the place with pint-sized wigwams, stone circles, racks for tanning pelts, spears, attempts at knapping arrowheads..

As an adult, I was lost in the world of adults, living in a polluted mess where everyone is miserable. Longing for another life. Occasionally, I would attend some regional, public powwows, listen to speakers. Or I would run into co-workers or friends who happen to be Nipmuc, Wampanoag or Abenaki. But… I always felt like I was a white kid, a wanna-be, invading people’s sacred space.

All my life, I had no idea that my Grandparents were Mi’kmaq. They came to the United States at a time when the Canadian government was specifically rounding up Mi’kmaq kids to send to the boarding schools. I think our family was terrified and they really had it hammered into their heads to never tell anyone that they are native. After doing some recent geneology, I have discovered that I have about the same fraction of native blood as many of the indigenous people that I respect very much. Most of us have mixed in. Our parents and grandparents have tried to conform and blend in, and so much is lost or forgotten. Now we are several generations distant, have grandparents who have passed, or were very traumatized and don’t want to talk about it directly.

All my life, I have learned mostly from other people, Abenaki, Wampanoag, etc… My family, the Mi’kmaq are hundreds of miles away in eastern Canada. I am trying to learn our language, and our traditional beliefs, which are basically a mix of Catholicism and Mi’kmaq traditional beliefs. Chief Membertou successfully negotiated with the Vatican for that! wow! 🙂 I grew up in a family that identified as French Canadian Catholics. But now reading about my culture and people in modern day Canada, it is all so familiar! I realize that my Grandparents and church stealthily taught me my people’s ways.

I have also discovered, sadly, that my people are struggling, living in poverty and with all of the social ills that comes with. Unless I become rich and can go there and be some kind of wealthy benefactor, I would be a burden on my people. And, even though my people are from far away. My home is here, at Amoskaeg and Massabesic (Manchester New Hampshire) I belong to the land here. So I am a wayward daughter of my people, living far away.

Many years ago, I read a novel “Svaha”, which is pure science fiction. It takes place in a cyberpunk kind of future where the world is corrupt and polluted. Indigenous people had discovered a technology to create shielded enclaves, much like Wakanda in the Black Panther movies. They live happily apart from the world. The character “Gazhee” is charged with the duty of leaving the enclaves and going out into the world, to recover some stolen technology. He faces the sad reality that once he leaves, he can never go home. In his travels through the wastelands, he discovers people everywhere he goes, who long for a different and better life, and he comes to love them and realizes that he has a greater mission to gather a new people, who can build a new world together. This story touched my heart and affected me so deeply.

Now I find myself in a similar situation to Gazhee. I can never really go home. I have to make my home here, among lost people who are longing for a different world. Where I live now. Many of our grandparents are immigrants that came here from the same parts of Canada, to work in the mills, build a life for their children, and likely I am surrounded by similar grandchildren of Mi’kmaq who are lost, and maybe share that same longing. I also run a virtual world called GroovyVerse, which is REALLY cyberpunk, but we have turned our world into a beautiful, peaceful place, and became kind of a weird tribe of our own.

500+ years ago, indigenous peoples moved around a lot, mixed with other people, forgot things, learned new things. Developed and learned new technologies and ways of life. They were continually becoming a “new people” all of the time. My own people became Catholics in 1610, and relatively happily melded that into their own ways. To this day, that is our proud, cultural identity. So here we are, in 2025. We are in a very different place, and a different world. I am far away from home. I am no longer Catholic. I am transgender. I have my own datacenter downstairs in my office that I run an alternate reality universe on, that is home to my tribe of about 200 people whom I love very much like family. Where does that leave me? I long for home, but I can’t go “home”. I am home. home is here. Where does that leave us? People who know everything around us is wrong. We feel trapped.

I think we have to do what our ancestors have always done. Become a new people. Find a way to live in balance with the land and all of our relations in nature. Be good stewards, help the land heal and become green again. I dream of a day when countless salmon jump through the restored Amoskeag falls again, and our children will be free and happy, learn our languages and cultures. I can’t emigrate back to Canada to find that. My people are already struggling. The best I can do to help, and be a good daughter of my people is to continue learning our language, and I am doing ok. I can donate to college funds for our youth, as I have been doing. Perhaps I can teach the language to others like me, in my area (there are thousands!)

I not only hope, I firmly believe that we will someday look around us and wake up. See the beauty that is still all around us, waiting for us to re-join it.

The Portrayal of Natives as Strangers and Sorcerers in Acadian and Newfoundland Folk Legends

I came across this article while searching for information about La Mariecomo and witchcraft in New Brunswick. I have translated it with a PDF translator, which is less than perfect. The original in French can be found at the link below.

I will apologize for some of the language: terms like “taoueille”, “sauvage”, etc.

Canadian academics appear to be unencumbered by any form of cultural sensitivity. :/

https://www.erudit.org/fr/revues/rabaska/2009-v7-rabaska3475/038337ar




The Image of the Micmacs as Foreigners and Sorcerers in Acadian and Newfoundland Legend

RONALD LABELLE

University of Moncton

Witchcraft remains a little-known phenomenon in the cultural history of Eastern Canada, although it has been present everywhere since the beginning of colonization in the 17th century. In the introduction to her book on witchcraft in Newfoundland, Barbara Rieti points out that one could visit every heritage site in the province without finding a single reference to the existence of witchcraft . 1 Yet the Memorial University of Newfoundland Folklore and Language Archive is full of tales of witchcraft. Similarly, Nova Scotian folklorist Helen Creighton collected hundreds of tales in her home province, 2 while Sister Catherine Jolicœur did the same during her surveys of Acadians in New Brunswick, a province where one can visit at least one heritage site that documents witchcraft legends. The permanent ,exhibition at the Acadian Museum of the University of Moncton presents a painting illustrating the famous “Mariecomo” (see below).

Continue reading The Portrayal of Natives as Strangers and Sorcerers in Acadian and Newfoundland Folk Legends

La Mariecomo

Over the past few months, I have really fallen down a very deep rabbit hole, learning about my family and ancestry. All of my life, I thought that we were just very boring and rather depressed French Canadians. Like many, if not most Americans, we are children or grandchildren of immigrants. Our ancestry, history and culture is often lost to us. Our parents or grandparents came here, often fleeing poverty, war, oppression. They just wanted to be Americans, forget their struggles and fit in.

In the past few months, I have learned many mind-blowing things, that my family never really spoke of directly, but I am finding that I absorbed much of by some osmosis. 🙂

There is so much, I will just make a quick, bulleted list, and you can believe me or not…

  • I have very significant Mi’kmaq ancestry, as many French Canadians do. I have started work learning our language and more about culture.
  • My family were among the very first French to arrive in Acadia (modern day Nova Scotia) from Loudon France. At the time, what is not mentioned often, was they were escaping a Salem-style hysteria of witch-hunts and executions. Their motivations were similar to the English Mayflower Pilgrims. They wanted freedom to practice their faith. (I will throw some spice on that later)
  • Our Catholicsm practiced in our family has always seemd a lot different than other Catholics. Now I know why. In 1610, Chief Membertou of the Mi’kmaq actually negotiated for a year with the VATICAN(!) for a kinder-gentler Catholicism that respected their traditional native beliefs. This resulted in two Papal bulls, in the 1600’s stating that the Mi’kmaq are to be respected in their traditions and beliefs. So hundreds of years later, I was raised in an oddly “nice” Catholic upbringing. 🙂
  • My French and Mi’kmaq ancestors are described as family relations in multiple historical accounts, and fought side by side against the English. Before and during the expulsion/ethnic cleansing in the 1700’s of what is now Nova Scotia.
  • My ancestor Alexis Landry, after being in an undisclosed location for several years, returned to public view, and founded a large part of Caraquet New Brunswick. There is a statue of him in the square. I later learned from the Mi’kmaq historical timeline (which is very meticulous!), and other sources, that during his missing time, he was fighting guerilla warfare alongside the Mi’kmaq against the English, to resist their occupation!
  • Despite being of very clearly mixed ancestry, the Landry side of the family always insisted they were “pure french”, and were very hypocritically prejudiced against the Metis (mixed) people of Bas Caraquet. This attitude persists to this day!! They appear in the book I just read, as the bad guys.
  • My Grandmother’s family, on the other hand, were openly listed as Metis as far back as we find in the church marriage/birth/death records.

So that is a LOT of new information to digest, in a short period of time. But I am ok, I am adjusting!

In my new passion, to research my family, our Acadian homeland, and trying to understand their everyday lives… I came across some amazing folklore. La Mariecomo! All we know of her is that she lived from 1838 – 1910, and was reputed to be the most powerful witch, a member of a powerful family that were the first French to settle Acadia, from Loudon France. They were part of a group that actually did practice a Cabala/Hermetic magical tradition. She married a powerful Mi’kmaq shaman, and together they were unstoppable! 🙂

Legend widely has it that they led a coven of similar folk who read the Great and Little Albert Grimoires. They were champions of the poor and downtrodden, and taught lessons and spells from the Little Albert, to help common folk with everyday things like farming, fishing, protection against harm. And they did great works in secret to influence the tides and weather, and against the greater injustices and corrupt leadership of the time.

I recently found a novel, “La Mariecomo – Roman (Collection Les Romanciers du jour)” which is out of print, but I managed to find an online French language copy. It is difficult to read, because it is in Acadian. My friends from France can not understand most of it themselves.

I was expecting to find some historical facts about La Mariecomo, as I eagerly read the novel from cover to cover. You will not find any answers in this book. It is a fictional account of Mariecomo and her sorcerer friends and family, sitting around a table, in a poor little house, telling each other stories of their travels, loves and adventures. Just everyday poor people, who happen to be wizards. 🙂 What facts you may find, are bits of history of the wider world, and of specific places (like Caraquet, Shediac, Moncton), and Canadian history that many of us have never heard of, like the Lower Canada Revolt (Patriots War), that Acadians fought and lost and in the time of the book, were being punished for. And accounts of my own family’s unfortunate disposition.

I suspect a LOT of people would not understand this book, or what it means. In the book, Mariecomo, the most powerful witch and benefactor of the people, walks the roads, largely anonymously. People are mean to her, shoo her away, call her a whore. They have no idea what a powerful and wonderful person she is. They are small minded, to be pitied. She is patient and just goes about her business, because despite all that, she is happy and free and works to help them.

In many ways, this really describes my friends in OpenSim, and myself. We walk though the world out there. No one has any idea what magic we do, the beautiful and brilliant things we create out of view. And in my case, I actually do get chased down the street getting obscenities yelled at me. lol To me, a powerful message is “People may not know how beautiful you are, or what you do, or how rich you are. Be happy and free. Those people are not so blessed.”

And in the book, that takes place in 1800’s Canada. The people in the book are people living in poverty, oppressed by a corrupt government and church. Yet they are unstoppable! They are (to quote Kipling) the rot in the root, the thorn in the foot… misletoe killing an oak, rats gnawing cables in two, how they must love what they do! They manage to thwart people in power, and persist and survive and be happy anyway!

As I write this, my Partner is watching the inauguration of someone who promises to make life hell, for people like me (A transgender woman) You know. My Mi’kmaq and Acadian (and Polish, and Scottish and everyone else) ancestors have been through WAY worse. That orange clown can say whatever he wants. We will be a continual thorn in their side, and we’re not going ANYWHERE!

For the brave of heart. If you would like to read it, it can be found at:

https://archive.org/details/lamariecomoroman0000brun_d3o3/mode/2up

To read the full version, sign up for a free account at archive.org and you can “Borrow” the full online book.

Search for Habitable Planets

To date, more than 5,000 exoplanets have been discovered and are considered “confirmed” out of the billions in our galaxy alone. There are thousands of other “candidate” exoplanet detections that require further observations in order to say for sure whether or not the exoplanet is real. This according to the NASA website.

The vast majority of these detected planets are gas giants that orbit their star rather closely. It seems like our own solar system, with the far out gas and ice giants is an oddball. People are always disappointed when we do not find an earth-like planet, in the right place.

But cheer up sunshine! There is hope! Our own gas giant, Saturn hosts numerous moons, at least two of which may be the likeliest place that we might someday find life. It stands to reason, that many of the gas giants orbiting close to their star may have moons that are PERFECT for life to develop. They are close to their sun, and are also protected by their huge gas giant’s magnetic field, as Saturn protects it’s own moons. So these gas giants may have moons that are actually a much more stable place for life to develop than our Earth!

Food for thought and dreams. 🙂

What’s Important to Me

I think when trans people first start perusing transitioning, and contemplating their first steps. We have very different ideas of what is important, or what is possible. I had envisioned HRT giving me large breasts, making me curvy. I honestly did not know what else to expect, or if there was anything else? I expected trouble. From everyone. I figured I’d have to hide out in my house for the rest of my life.

I will outline the steps I took to change my life:

December 1st, 2016, I got SOBER, after being an alcoholic all of my adult life, and in really bad shape the last two years and very sick from repeated attempts to quit on my own. This was ABSOLUTELY the most important step in my transition, and made me healthy and strong enough to do what I needed to do.

February 2018, I filed a petition to change my name to Hyacinth Jean Landry. This afforded me dignity in my dealings with other people, in business, at the bank, etc. My ID, Soial Security, everything matched my name.

May 2021, I finally felt confident enough in my health and sobriety to approach my doctor about HRT, and to have her sign the form to change the gender on my drivers license. I really had no idea what to expect. I was thinking it would be a long, slow process and my body would just change a little bit. I had NO IDEA that I was basically born with a female brain. I don’t mean that I thought or felt like a female so much, as a very concrete, medical fact that I had mostly estradiol/estrogen receptors. (technically my brain was not converting testosterone to estradiol)

… I was missing an essential neurotransmitter, and had been suffering post-menopause-like symptoms all my adult life. Low energy, extreme depression, anxiety, lack of concentration. LITERALLY the next day, it was like my brain just started working. I felt amazing, really clear headed, happy! I was happy! I had no idea!
At first, I thought it was just a temporary euphoria, because I achieved a goal, or was just stoned or something. But here I am 3 years later. I have ups and downs like everyone else, but I am just immensely happier and so much more higher functioning, compared to before. And it is consistent!

As important as all that is. One of the most important things. I had never been able to hold down a job in my life, and was absolutely terrified to try again. But, in 2022 I applied for my first job in ages. At Walmart. The plan was to just stick it out through the holiday season, and I 100% expected to bomb out. I didn’t. The most amazing discovery about myself, is I am a VERY VERY hard worker, and I enjoy it! I am no longer afraid of people. I LOVE interacting with customers!

My job is really really physically demanding, and it is very difficult for me and in so much pain sometimes. But this job has made me feel like a REAL PERSON! My co-workers are wonderful. I feel like I am really valued and respected, and considered kind of a solid team member. I have NEVER had that in my life, or ever felt like I was as good as anyone else.

I work with STRONG, amazing women who are an inspiration to me every day, and helping me figure out the kind of woman I want to be, when and if I ever grow up.

Otherwise, the job is a pretty stupid job, by most people’s accounts. I have really senior level IT, network and programming skills.. and here I am stocking shampoo bottles on 3rd shift. But the experience has really meant the world to me. I am surrounded by really good, decent people. And I actually love and care about the people around me. That is pretty priceless, and I owe that job A LOT!

None of the nightmares like discrimination, harassment, people being mean to me… none of that every really happened. Everyone tells you they will murder you the second you set foot outside. But the most amazing surprise is just now nice, decent and accepting most people are. Even my customers at work. For some reason they ignore my co-workers and always come to me to help them find stuff, and are super nice to me.

So in reflection, those are the absolute most important things to me. These are the things that make me a woman, and grateful every day for my life. Not my body shape, not my voice, not my wardrobe or makeup.

As for the boobs, getting curvy. None of that stuff happened as I had originally hoped. I turned out completely different. But you know what? This is the first time in my life that I love my body, just the way it is. I feel beautiful, and this is what the healthy 55 year old me would have looked like naturally, if I had not been born just a plain girl. I’ll take it! 🙂

Mini WebGL worlds for GroovyVerse

This week, I converted our entire grid to GLTF format (viewable as WebGL in a web browser). I was thinking of adding a feature for region owners where they can select a small area, maybe 128x128m of their region, and create a little web presence for their region. So if friends do not want to take the plunge and download Firestorm and all that… they can visit the region in a limited fashion as a teaser.

I probably shouldn’t be posting this, because the guy on that other grid will probably suddenly come up with this same brilliant idea too, and be interviewed in Forbes magazine next week. haha